Congratulations Princess Marcus
Last week, my buddy Marcus finally climbed the corporate ladder and landed the big one: Senior Executive. After three years of crushing his soul for this company, he was practically glowing, talking about “corporate synergy” and his new private parking spot. I was so genuinely thrilled for the guy that I spent an hour picking out the perfect, deeply moving digital card to celebrate his hard work, wrote a message that could make a grown man weep, and hit send with a proud tear in my eye. Ten minutes later, he called me in a panic because I had accidentally clicked the wrong tab and sent him a glittering, pink e-card that read, “Happy Sweet 16, Little Princess! Follow Your Dreams!” He said his new assistant looked at him very differently when the notification popped up on his screen during his first board meeting.
Regardless, Congratulations Marcus, I wish you nothing but happiness and growth in this new job role. Soar high, buddy!
This Week, We’re Celebrating…
Happy Be A Millionaire Day. May your “just looking” turn into “I’ll take two.”
Shavuot (May 21-23)
Happy Shavuot. Wishing you wisdom, warmth, and the confidence to cut a giant cheesecake slice like you earned it.
Some desserts arrive screaming for attention. Vanilla pudding just sits there knowing it’s already winning. Eat some!
Happy World Turtle Day. On this day, we celebrate creatures who invented work-from-home centuries ago.
Here’s to all the brotherhoods across the world! Turning peaceful moments into wrestling matches since forever.
14 Days, No Cell Service, and One Very Important Birthday
Here is a quick piece of advice: Never look at a map of the Canadian Rockies right before your mother’s birthday. It will cloud your judgment. Next month, I am heading out on a backcountry hiking trail deep in the mountains. We are talking 14 days of pure, unadulterated wilderness. No Wi-Fi. No cell towers. Just me, a heavy pack, a lot of freeze-dried pasta, and the local bear population. It sounds like heaven, right? There was just one massive, mountain-sized dilemma.
Right smack in the middle of that 14-day trek (on day seven, to be exact) is my mom’s birthday. Now, my mom is a saint. But if I forget her birthday because I was off “finding myself” in the woods, the bears would be the least of my worries. I was genuinely torn. Do I postpone the trip of a lifetime, or do I risk becoming the most unreliable child in North America?
Then, I found the ultimate loophole. On the 123Greetings site, they have a brand-new reminder and scheduling service. You can actually set up and schedule a greeting up to 60 days in advance. The math was beautiful. I sat at my desk, picked out a gorgeous, funny card for my mom, wrote a heartfelt message, and locked it into the schedule. It is a total win-win. If you have a busy summer coming up, or if you just have a terrible memory, do yourself a favor. Go use the tool, schedule your cards way ahead of time, and live your life stress-free. Your future self will thank you. (I really hope Ma doesn’t read this.)
Alright, that’ll be it from me! Go enjoy the sun, or just stare at your phone in a slightly different room. See you next week. Bob out!